IQ EXAMS

Proverbial "IQ Exams" can’t accurately measure intelligence. Instead, they only measure one's preexisting knowledge of a finite set of questions. Ergo, one could argue that IQ Exams are a politicized artifice used to deny or grant certain individuals access to information, education, and knowledge.  Yet, to facilitate our members’ understanding of this unorthodox pedagogy, VICE proffers several “IQ Exams”, which are tantamount to Intelligent Questions we encourage everyone to answer. Sample Questions:

According to your moral compass, which of the following are virtues rather than vices?

1. Smoking cigarettes or marijuana with your friends after school.

2. Smoking crack or snorting cocaine with your friends at a party.

3. Homosexuality, lesbianism, and gay marriages.

4. Heterosexual perversion, a/k/a/ trading places, bend over boyfriend, or B.O.B.

5. Fornication in high school, promiscuity in the military or in college.

6. Masturbation, sublimation, celibacy, or virginity until marriage.

7. Incest with your older sibling, cousin, or other relative.

8. Kicking it on the DL with a football, track, or basketball teammate.

9. Kicking it on the DL with a coach, teacher, or another adult for money.

10. A junior having a bastard by a coach, a teacher, or another adult.

11. A senior not doing homework or cheating on an exam.

12. Skipping school to drink beer, get high, or to have sex. 

13. Stealing and robbing rather than working for it or doing without it.

14. Studying the Holy Bible, Quran, or Torah at school during lunch time and recess.

15. A freshman engaged in battery, fighting or other violence at school.

16. A junior bringing a firearm or other weapon to school with the intent to kill.

17. A sophomore bullying another student at school or off campus after school.

18. Being a follower to avoid being called a “faggot”, “chicken”, “wimp”, or a “punk”.

19. Being by yourself rather than giving in to peer pressure or the crowd.

20. Bearing the fruits of God’s Holy Spirit so that others can see Him in you.

ANSWERS: Only # 6, 14, 19 and 20 are virtues. How well did you do?

According to your moral compass, indicate whether the following are True or False:

A righteous man will teach his students God’s Creation rather than evolution.

A righteous man will not teach his students the Bible in order to keep his job.

A righteous man will cash his check, play lotto and otherwise gamble to support his family.

A righteous man will work hard and bring his paycheck home to support his family.

A righteous man will get drunk and beat his wife if she makes him angry.

A righteous man will love, honor, protect, and cherish his wife and children.

A righteous man will have a mistress for those times when his wife isn’t interested.

A righteous man will never cheat on his wife with another woman or man.

A righteous man will molest or seduce his own son, step-son, or nephew.

A righteous man will molest or seduce his own daughter, step-daughter, or niece.

A righteous man will attend his son’s or daughter’s gay marriage.

A righteous man will allow his gay son and his partner to spend the night.

A righteous man will not even break bread with his gay son and his partner.

A righteous man will leave a church if the pastor is a female.

A righteous man will gladly serve under a female pastor, elder, or bishop, etc.

A righteous man will remove his son from any church or synagogue teaching gender equality.

According to your moral compass, mark each virtue with an “O” and each vice with an “X”:

The Feminist Movement now opposes celibacy for single females.

The Feminist Movement now opposes virginity until marriage.

The Feminist Movement now supports gay and lesbian marriage.

The Feminist Movement now supports gays and lesbians in the military.

The Feminist Movement now supports gay and lesbian pastors and priests.

The Feminist Movement now supports gay and lesbian prison guards and police.

The Feminist Movement now supports gay and lesbian teachers and professors.

The Feminist Movement now supports gay and lesbian adoptions.

The Feminist Movement now supports bend over boyfriend, a/k/a trading places.

The Feminist Movement now supports the Psychological Penis Complex.

The Feminist Movement now supports the psychological castration of boys and teenage males.

After reading VICE’s textbook, answer the following comprehension questions:

What was one reason this Army dad was so candid about sex when his son, Junior, was 12?

What did Junior’s grandfather do to his own brother when they were teenage boys?

In high school, Junior's father participated in all of the following sports except which?

This athletic Army dad coached his twelve-year-old son’s little league team in which sport?

In this quintessential father son lesson in sex education, Junior had how many siblings?

Prior to candidly discussing masturbation, his father also asked Junior about what?

In this fictional father son dyad, which of the following sexual topics was not mentioned?

While dad lifted weights, why wasn’t the boy’s mother at home this particular Saturday morning?

As a horny teenager, how did this Army dad keep come stains out of his sheets at night?

Apparently, pederasts and child molesters on Army bases typically target which of the following?

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